He called this the “Triple-A Engine.” The last factor, anonymity, is key.
A man’s belief that no one knows where he is going online gives a false sense of security: “What I’m doing online is my own business, and it isn’t hurting anyone else.” The more a man becomes entrenched in porn, the more he begins to lose interest in real world relationships, especially with his wife and children.
While many addicts want a high frequency of sex (see #3), as the addiction escalates, they begin to lose interest in their partner.
They become desensitized to other forms of pleasure—even sexual intercourse—preferring the buzz they get from porn.
Some men show a sudden interest in “rough” sex or sexual activities you haven’t discussed and agreed to.
Others will begin to show an interest in bondage, fetishes, sadomasochism, group sex, or activities that make you feel belittled and used.
They have conditioned their mind to be turned on only by self-sex and porn images.
He may demand to be left alone with his computer or become irritable if he can’t get online.
Check your husband’s web browsers on his phone, laptop, home computer, or tablet.
If the Internet histories are constantly empty, he may be clearing his history to cover his tracks.
The late psychologist Al Cooper wrote that three factors often contribute to an Internet porn addiction: affordability (most porn is cheap or free), accessibility (it can be accessed nearly anywhere), and anonymity (no one has to know what you’re doing).