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And to a surprising degree, it is women—not men—who are perpetuating the culture, especially in school, cannily manipulating it to make space for their success, always keeping their own ends in mind.

For college girls these days, an overly serious suitor fills the same role as an accidental pregnancy did in the 19th century: a danger to be avoided at all costs, lest it get in the way of a promising future.” Kate Taylor, a New York Times reporter, makes a similar claim in the 2013 article “Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too.” She opens her story with the tale of a University of Pennsylvania woman who approaches non-committal sex as a “cost-benefit” analysis with “low risk and low investment cost.” While various academic studies tout the damaging effects of hookup culture, I came across them much more infrequently.

We won accolades from our professors, but the men we were sleeping with wouldn’t even eat breakfast with us the next morning.

What’s worse, we really thought of the situation in those terms: “We were desperate to know what it felt like to be wanted; desperate for a chance at intimacy.

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I loved learning and made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year. But my internal life was characterized by paralyzing anxiety and depression. I drove myself to excessive exercising and near-anorexia. While there was a major gulf between my public self and my private one, the one thing that remained consistent were my politics.From dance floors to bedrooms, everyone was hooking up—myself included.The popular media most frequently characterizes hookup culture as a series of emotionless one-night stands.At Middlebury, such casual hookups definitely occur.Far more frequent, however, were pseudo-relationships, the mutant children of meaningless sex and loving partnerships.

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