I’ve gone on dates with women who seemed great on dating apps, only to have them tell me, “I love ethnic girls.” Dating interracially, there have been times when the woman I am dating shows no interest whatsoever in my cultural background, just that I’m a “hot Asian.” It’s very rare for someone I’m dating to show any interest in the cultural customs I grew up with or my race.I’ve been on them all, and Tinder seems to have the most diverse pool of users in terms of ethnicity. Coffee Meets Bagel has the most male Asian users from what I’ve seen, but the conversations I’ve had on there haven’t been great. It was gross: fetishes for Asian women I’ve used Bumble, Ok Cupid and Coffee Meets Bagel.My first girlfriend was white, and when my mom found out I was dating a white woman, she kicked me out of the house for being gay, but not before saying, “Well, at least that b***h is white!” I feel like Asians fall into that gray area of not being accepted as a person of color while being seen as a weird fetish.If that study on dating apps showing Americans’ cultural dating preferences is to be believed, it’s probably true.But also, maybe my pictures and profile just don’t do it for many women, even if they are open to dating Asians.I got on it when I was bored and paid for an upgraded subscription that allowed me to move my location to Pyeongchang to see the pool of users there ― no shame. Bumble and OKC have been the best so far in terms of matches and responses.However, I get the sense that not many women that make their way to Pittsburgh are looking for a guy who looks or thinks like me.
But I’ve come to learn that I cannot build up my confidence based on other boys’ perception of my looks or my race.
It’s interesting; they don’t seem to know what’s appropriate to say and what isn’t.
Physical appearance is something they always bring up and they always come on extremely strong and in your face from the beginning.
It’s always an internal battle of whether or not I tell her, as I will never change, but knowing she will never openly ask about my partner has been very difficult.
Even before I came out to her, I had a black boyfriend. It’s interesting to see the amount of inherent racism that is evident in Asian cultures.