The fear is rooted in insecurities: What if they don’t like me as much as I like them?What if they’re not that into me and I end up making a fool of myself falling for someone when they don’t feel the same way? It may seem hard to believe, but in the beginning of a relationship, a guy will try to feel out how much a woman likes him …But I feel like every time I meet someone new I have to go through a song and dance routine to convince them that no, really, I don’t celebrate Christmas NO REALLY I DON’T WANT TO.This particular year is extra stressful because I just started a new job and I always I feel like I’m missing some workplace etiquette this time of year. Can I just wear a shirt all month that says “Sorry, I’m Jewish, please leave me out of your strange Christmas rituals, Gentiles”??? Most of them aren’t thinking about stuff like ““I have to include everyone (in my culturally dominant thing) because the meta-narrative indicates that nobody should be alone or left out on Christmas and I am a nice person who wants to do the good thing here.” They are also thinking about themselves as individual nice people with good intentions and not thinking about the gauntlet of individual-totally-separate-not-oppressive-at-all-interactions that the person outside the dominant group has to run.Eleven months out of the year, this is a non-issue. I feel like all month I hear an unending barrage of “oh but it’s really a secular holiday so it’s fine if you participate!” and “you’re really hurting my feelings/ruining Christmas for me if you don’t participate in my tree decorating party/secret santa/whatever! I DON’T WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN ANYTHING CHRISTMAS RELATED IT MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
The excitement is on thinking about all the things they like about you.I don’t seem to be able to convince people that their holiday feelings are their problems and not mine.Most of my long term friends are used to this and even if they don’t totally understand they leave me alone about it.Once he believes that you really like him, it’s at that point he’ll relax and start being himself.In the beginning phase of a relationship, the guy wants you to like him and wants to know that you do.