More to love dating

It's the kind of advice you repeat to yourself during difficult moments, or find yourself re-telling your friends.

I wanted to hear more of these stories from other women, all sharing those key moments from their lives.

If you feel you are worthy of love, then you can fully love.

It sounds so simple, and yet we know how hard loving ourselves can be.

Sometimes you're so close, the two of you, your orbits are in synch, and sometimes you move so far away from each other, you feel you'll never reconnect, never reenter each other's orbits, you're too far apart. I never forgot this advice; we moved far away from each other many times, and I waited it out, and sure enough, we came back into synch again.

The trick to marriage is having faith in the reconnection, waiting for the inevitable closeness again." This was in 1994. And then at the end, we moved too far apart to ever reenter each other's orbits, out of each other's fields of gravity, and that's when I knew it was over. The best advice about love I got from my father, Michael Rockland.

My dad said something which has never left me in my 14 years of marriage, "You only have to answer to yourself. If you can live with this man don't let others influence your decision.

I always felt this to be a simple and beautiful phrase that removes crazy expectations from relationships and keeps perspective on love so simple. The litter box is the litmus test for love and compatibility. "I always thought that love was about desire -- being with someone, holding someone, feeling someone. Love can come in lots of different ways and lots of different guises." That's the British artist Tracey Emin in a May 2012 BBC interview.

The values that have been promoted since the advent of the moving picture have sent a message to women. I have been through many wonderful love affairs; I have been through divorce and near-death illness; I have traveled the world and been on the covers of magazines. All this may sound super new-agey and self-possessed, but I can't help but fall back on that old maxim, "happiness comes from within." The worst relationship I ever had was also the most important one of my young life, in that I learned more about myself from that year-long ordeal than from any other.

Through all of this, I have come to understand that I control my ultimate happiness. I was 18, and as often happens with first love, was completely blind to the fact that I was being manipulated and taken advantage of.

Conversely, if he fails to call, hold your head high and walk away.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still think that, in the early days of a relationship, the onus falls on the opposite sex.

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