But he's also found that apps with more queer people tend to be more open to being poly.Yet Gray noted that in spite of stating what you're looking for explicitly, you might not always get quite what you ordered.Above all, the polyamorous people spoke with weren't just seeking sex on dating apps; they were seeking companionship and meaningful connections.But Marcus is hopeful that poly people on online dating apps may give way to more open attitudes toward the poly lifestyle."My wife will get messages from married guys on the down low occasionally, but Dan Savage and books like have made the ethical side of nonmonogamy a more commonplace trend," Marcus said. "The fact that we're experiencing much more acceptance of difference in both gender and sexuality is a good sign," she said."Finding your partner is very important," Almendares said.
That's in part because Gray self-identifies as "a very genderqueer trans person who dates and sleeps with people across the gender spectrum," which makes it difficult to find people on mainstream apps."It's a delicate dance to balance taking initiative, keeping a chat going, and not [coming] off as too thirsty, but I'm more active as a seeker now because if I just see what comes my way I'm usually not at all interested in those folks."Even if people like Marcus and Gray are open about their statuses, there's still a stigma attached to dating as a polyamorous person.On websites like Ok Cupid and dating apps like Tinder, people who describe themselves as poly tend to receive messages from people who either assume that they're cheating on their spouses, or that they're inherently promiscuous and up for anything.So when people find out that he's married, they often get angry."[One person said] ' I'm not going to help you cheat,'" Marcus told ."And then there was a guy who was convinced if he went on a date with me it would break up my marriage."From Marcus's point of view, that isn't likely. They have two children, and as of one year ago, when they agreed to open up their relationship, they are also Polyamory comes in a wide range of forms: A couple might seek a third partner to date together, they might date other couples, or they may date independently.