I hear this fear arising more and more in our “swipe right” culture where there is always someone better “out there.” Underneath this question is a fear that we will miss out on the best life.
But really, the best life is found in following Jesus, not in making sure we’re setting up the perfect future for ourselves.
Now, don’t get me wrong—there is wisdom in not settling for the first person who says we’re attractive, but learning to commit to someone can actually bring far more peace than continually wondering if there’s somehow a perfect future spouse waiting for us elsewhere.
William Bridges, in his book , talks about how even when really great things happen in life (marriage, new job, etc.), the real joy doesn’t come until you go through a process of death from your old season of life and a journey of disorientation as you embrace the new beginning. But when you’re in the middle of realizing that you may not see exactly eye-to-eye on everything, it can feel scary.When you first start going on dates, every moment can be thrilling and exhilarating. My dad used to tell me, “It’s good to feel down sometimes.Our bodies need that to unwind.” While this is an important question, I think in our culture we overemphasize what others can do for us.Here are the three biggest relationship-defining questions and how to ask them: When: Ideally, wait until you’re seeing each other at least a few times a week.If sex is on the table or has already entered the relationship, that’s a good point to have the talk.