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“Of the nine couples he had in counseling, seven of them shared a similar story: The guys all had several options, but they married the women who pursued them the most.” And ladies, don’t worry about turning off guys by being too pushy.

Better options include Silicon Valley, San Francisco, San Diego and Columbus, Ohio.Today that same woman, now 40, if still unmarried, faces a market in which nearly two-thirds of those formerly single men are hitched, and there are just 33 eligible men for every 50 women — 52 percent more women than men.“None of this would matter if we were open-minded about who we dated,” Birger says.“Ultimatums work in business and politics,” Birger says.“This notion that the only area of life you shouldn’t issue an ultimatum in is romance doesn’t make sense.” Researcher John Molloy interviewed 3,000 couples right after they got their marriage licenses and found that 60 percent of the women were prepared to walk away if their guy suddenly declared he wasn’t ready.

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