One couple I knew had been separated for five years, the wife spoke with and approved of her husbands potential girlfriend, and yet when he fell in love with the girlfriend, the wife fell apart and threatened to ruin his reputation with their children. And, as you know, most women, no matter how unhappily married, harbor a hope deep inside that their husband will "get it" and change and come back to them.So, even if he tells you his wife is a big meanie, he chose HER out of all the women he met to pledge his life to and she often hopes he will come back and they can be happy again.And, if you conduct yourself like this, no matter what anyone else says about you to your face, behind your back or in the paper, you know that you handled yourself virtuously with a married man, there are no "videos" floating around and you respected his commitment to his wife and family (and God) even if he was looking to disrespect it.Perhaps you feel you and he are "meant to be" but for that to be a reality, he needs to be legally single for him to truly be "the one" for you.
And, you may even be able to feel happy that you didn't interfere with couple or family reuniting.
If he has filed, you can ask to see a copy of the front page of the filing with the official stamp and also check with the court before you decide to see him at all. Step 3 -- If he hasn't filed for divorce I do not recommend spending any time with him at all.
He is full blown married and if you have good chemistry with him, you will bond and he will be unavailable and you just entered into a mess.
Even if he lives separately, even if he says he and his wife have not been intimate for years, even if he says they are "separated," even if he says that they both want a divorce, even if you meet her and she says she is okay with it, this is all theoretical.
When things actually happen, people do not react logically but instead emotionally and unpredictably.